went-away

2006-01-06T16:43:00.000+08:00

http://zephyrous-.blogspot.com

2006-01-03T21:33:00.000+08:00

i was so so so glad to see tudi once again after a long long one year...haha... i guess with her around, i don't even need to bother about those people that bothered me so much last year anymore...yea...

why do people say encouraging words? maybe it's because they don't know what to say. they aren't exactly trying to encourage you...

i shall start a brand new life. and forget about those people.

2005-12-31T17:27:00.000+08:00

last day of 2005. a few more hours before 2006 arrives...i m hoping for more SURPRISES...haha...2005 has been a rather surprising year for me...haha maybe i should say it's the year of uncertainty for me...and it's a year which has totally changed my concept about living things...especially human beings...perhaps i have grown over the past one year...haha...or maybe i am still stuck on square number one...lol....anyway....i guess i should not be taking things too hard anymore...yeah..hopefully that will produce a better me...oh...and i gonna see tudi again in 2 days' time!!!! haha maybe i would be lucky again nxt year...just like how lucky i was in 2004...because of my lucky star...tudi..lol

2005-12-12T13:06:00.000+08:00

there's simply no point in doing anything i want to do now. Somehow i seem to find no meaning in my life. Everything's in a mess and i really don't know what to do next. And the worst thing is, i am unsure of what i want or need. something's seriously missing. And everyone around me is getting more and more unfamiliar. It feels like i have never really known them. haha maybe right from the start, i do not even belong to this world. Everything just seems to be weird lar basically. I can't seem to fit in and i don't know how to. Argh. I simply dunno how to live on. Or maybe i am just worrying too much. wadever, u probably dunno how i am feeling now.

2005-12-06T19:40:00.000+08:00

Flu for a week. Now here comes swollen eye. And i am stilling having a flu. argh. and the stupid eyedrop is able to seep into my throat! yucks! my whole throat + mouth feel bitter and disgusting. guess i may not be able to make it for the KDF project this saturday.

Club T-shirt is 11 bucks. And there's another 5 bucks to be paid for dunno wadever...i am so broke. plus 34 bucks for those medication for my right eye. hah i should have told yong not to give me antibiotics cos i will not eat them unless it's really serious. they REALLY DO destroy good cells.

PAE results will be out on 16th dec. hope tudi gets into NJ. then i won't be so alone anymore.

2005-12-04T18:13:00.001+08:00

2005-11-23T23:22:00.000+08:00

it's been long since i have written something in here. Life hasn't been better than now...woah...at least holidays lift my mind off lotsa stuff...

met with jane and jg today(and my bro too!) to watch harry potter...both the show and my friends just reminded lotsa things which i gonna worry about very soon...in around 40 days hmm...

2005-11-06T12:14:00.000+08:00

good luck, tudi and annette.

after pw, life's not going to be any better.

maybe i should just die.

haha wadever.

2005-11-02T15:18:00.000+08:00

a boring holiday. looking forward to more fun.

2005-10-29T21:42:00.000+08:00

get out of my life. yes u!

2005-10-28T00:03:00.000+08:00

if there's anything i can change in this world, i will change myself first.

i keep quiet not because i don't know what to say. i say things only to make you feel superior. you really make me want to do so. so do you still think you are very smart now? hah. i know you must be thinking that i suck cos i am stupid and never get what you say. anything. i hope you get the "wrongest" impression about me. then that gives a good reason to heck care about you. i really don't like you. i know you don't too. so don't act like you can accept me. cos you never can and never will. my close friend once commented that i have an extremely weird frequency. i know it myself too. i know it really does take years for me to accept a person as my friend. cos i know i cannot seem to match my frequency with others'. i tried hard to change. but i failed. i would say i feel more comfortable with my own sort of frequency. i know most of you don't like it. i can't help it anyway.

2005-10-27T15:27:00.000+08:00

why.
the endless questioning.
don't ask anymore.
it's meaningless anyway.
don't give me a chance.
cos i don't need it again.
never again.

what a random post.

2005-10-16T17:39:00.000+08:00

NJC Openhouse 2005 - Many Places, Many Faces. NJ Amazes.

Felt kinda elated to see so many weiqi seniors...haha senior + grand senior + great grand senior...haha they are all so zai...i even got to play a proper game with my grand senior...haha so cool...and great grand senior is from my great grand senior class!!! haha 02's S3B...and my present senior can play the piano...woah....

Mich and Zh came to NJ...haha then we went CCC to eat...then went somewhere near dhoby ghaut to get mich's stuff...then went back to yishun to eat dessert...

Oh, art club cookies tasted quite nice. though i would say it's a bit too sweet for me.

Note this dy: i want a chess club TSHIRT. =X or ath that's related to the club.

Looking forward to class chalet. =D

2005-10-13T22:11:00.000+08:00

allow me to think slower. i know i am slow. dont force me to rush. i cant take this anymore.

2005-10-13T15:22:00.000+08:00

the 100th post. looks like i really dont post often.

2005-10-12T13:34:00.000+08:00

may luck stay with me.

2005-10-05T23:45:00.000+08:00

i wonder if this is retribution. guess it must be.

2005-09-22T22:59:00.000+08:00

lost that mayday coupon.

2005-09-20T00:12:00.000+08:00

Both were taken during passion pursuit...haha

2005-09-12T01:42:00.000+08:00

Gonna hone my skills for weiqi and get something(excluding lucky draw prizes) next year...provided comp doesnt clash with As...meanwhile...it's nth but PROMOS...i still want to stay in NJ and be a J2 NEXT YEAR...

2005-09-11T09:47:00.000+08:00

i wonder if i am living in a virtual world. Everything just seems so unreal to me now....ok

-MIA

2005-09-01T18:06:00.000+08:00

went back to SN on teachers' day eve...saw mr gan and chatted with him...he's indeed a very assuring physics teacher...haha he told me that i would definitely do well for my physics....and commented that my physics used to be quite good....so getting A shouldnt be a hassle...haha he has so much faith in me...but i have no faith in myself...i am losing my passion in almost everything...i don't even know where i want to be, what i want to do...oh man...by the way the flower i bought is not stupid...how can you say that? and yeah i know i am a lousy person...i lack responsibilty, passion, will...you can name anything under the sun...i cant be bothered anymore....

2005-08-28T19:30:00.000+08:00

FRI
went out with yl and ly to clementi for kbox...but in the end we realised it was very expensive and so we didn't go in...wanted to give a treat...but ly insisted it was too ex...so went to the big bookshop instead to walk walk...and yl brought us to this stall which she claimed sells good porridge...haha actually it's not really excellent...but quite nice lar...

SAT
went orchard with the art club people for the fashion discourse...it kinda turned out to be a feminist talk...lol...and i was the only non-aep njcian...and that namelist didn't even have my name!!! and the teacher who brought us there then told the person-in-charge to put me under "extra"...and yea i am indeed that EXTRA thanks to that teacher though she's actually quite a nice lady...and i wasn't even informed that ruoyun and sharon didn't have to go cos there's not enough vacancy...i would not have gone if i knew they wont be going....bah...sometimes i really drag attending AC sessions cos i am not close to the people there and i only talk to a few of them...and it's really A FEW....yucks...having passion for art really doesn't mean i have passion for art CLUB...
after the discourse...went to chinatown to find yl and jung to help them with their pw...actually i wasn't of much help either...was just there to give moral support...haha and ly was sick so there were only three of us walking down chinatown trying hard to target people to interview...haha some of them really do look unfriendly...and we didn't realise that people can be hard to approach until then...after that we went to bugis and took some photos of the street...and bugis sells so many stuff...SO MANY it's difficult to pick what you want...haha

SUN
did cip with yingc at cck and woodlands...haha we went into causeway point....and yingc got chased out by the security guard quite a number of times...and in the end after we decided to "combined forces" and sell the bookmarks together...i got chased out by the guard...and yc commented that there must be a lot of "WANTED" posters around which have his face...lol...didn't know he can be that lame...haha but anyway we received 104 bucks after 5 hours(including one hour of slacking at Mac)....what an accomplishment...and i told yc he must smile more when he asked people to buy the bookmarks...he looked damn serious lar ....until he can scare people away...haha but he said it's fake to keep smiling...haha ok....and yeah was telling him too that it's better to say "would you like to donate..." than "would u like to buy bookmarks..."...cos the main aim of this cip is to raise funds and not buy objects...lol...:X....and the bookmarks look damn unappealing....only one design looks nice...the other two really sucked....ok entry too long...off to write alvin leong's essay...

2005-08-25T23:50:00.000+08:00

now i don't feel like going for the fashion talk anymore. cos i would probably appear in the most uncool clothes. haha.

went to watch movie with yanl, yingc, jane and many more...charlie and the choc fact...haha it was a rather corny show...but i quite liked it...the only negative thing was the after-movie syndrome...felt quite dizzy...haha that's why i don't really like watching movies...but yea it didn't last too long...

2005-08-23T19:15:00.000+08:00

1. scr3wed-up spa.
2. scr3wed-up chem.
3. scr3wed-up friendship.
4. i am getting more cynical.
5. she's changed. a lot. or rather i guess it's because i am trying to protect someone else, that's why i am putting all the blame on her.
6. i can't do image-mapping.
7. scr3wed-up pw.
8. EoM undone.
9. sore throat.
10. lousy weiqi skills.
11. i am infatuated with her. wth.

1. nice wallet from zh.
2. zh is nice. she helped me with pw. treasure her. don't let her down.
3. mummy's great. i love her.
4. i am still able to beat some people at weiqi competitions.
5. njc is not nice, but i will make it nice for me and others.
6. spa only takes up 20%. it's only 1 sip from a bottle of yakult.
7. i still have myself even if i lose everything.
8. i can sing better than a lot of people. what an accomplishment. =X
9. i am quite healthy after all.
10. i may be lousy at chemistry, but i can draw.
11. forget about her. cos she probably never care about me anyway.

2005-08-23T19:02:00.000+08:00

my friend gave the above for my birthday...haha...

2005-08-16T23:55:00.000+08:00

back to the same old simple style again. my favourite red, black and white. hmm maybe it's because i am feeling terrible today..that's why i am back to those colors. hmm disappointment would be the best word to describe my feeling now...or perhaps a tiny weeny bit of...darkness...seems like the wrong word...but for now there are no right words to pen down my feelings...don't know why...haha maybe it's because i have poor vocab. hah.

A BIG THANK YOU to yanling who sang the birthday song twice for me today...haha she sure knows how to cheer me up.....haha suddenly i just thought of what yunru told me during phys pract....haha the bean sprouts...yummy!!! maybe i really should blog down what i want to eat when i feel down......

SHE. i will forgive her anyway. cos i am nice and she is forgetful. hah. two mutually exclusive words...yet i put them together...mr chia will kill me for that.

2005-08-12T01:30:00.000+08:00

stop complaining. there are more unfortunate people than you. everyone has his/her own things to cope with, so stop comparing.

hmm i am actually glad that i am not the only child. when i am sad, i sometimes talk to my brother although at times i feel that he's too young to understand what i am crapping. haha frankly speaking my brother is a rather nice chap...hmm

see? i always don't know what to say. everything's tangled up in my brain. i can't unwind.

2005-08-09T17:15:00.000+08:00

http://61.64.212.115/sonymusic/mv/yida/yidamv03.wmv

2005-08-06T19:29:00.000+08:00

taken from wenshu's blog:

It's damn difficult to train nj's weiqi team. Other than me there are 4 people. And all their weiqi standards are different. -___- And we cant beat a lower sec weiqi team lar. We might not even win nayang primary. We rock.

what the hell. i think i am such a loser. i suck at everything i do. even simple maths. argh. and a lot of people don't know that though i can draw, i cant actually draw a proper horizontal line. i need to turn the paper 90 degrees to draw a vertical line and turn it back so that it's a horizontal line. so much of an artist. lol.

2005-08-03T00:05:00.000+08:00

ha. i know u hate me. that's cool. cos i will have another new enemy which has the same name as me...even the surname is the same. ha i never knew that can actually happen until now.

and i know you must be thinking that i am talking crap. or maybe you are too insensitive to know what i am talking about. that's you. you can't change. never.

today's a bad day. not in a good mood. ended up eating so much. but surprisingly i didn't feel like puking. weird. my stomach seems to getting stronger each day to protect itself from my torture. sorry. i didn't mean to weigh you down, stomach. it's just that there's nothing i can do except drown myself in food to get rid of my agony.

2005-07-27T22:20:00.000+08:00

haha...i think i dont want to be an engineer anymore...but i cant be an artist cos i wont earn much unless i am as pro as that alvin ong from nj arts stream...i cant be a rocker cos my mum wont approve of it..i cant be a geog teacher too though i love geog cos i am not taking it now...i cant be a chem engineer though they earn lots cos my chem sux...i cant be an accountant cos i would most probably screw up the sums since i cant even do simple maths properly...hmm maybe i should be an architect since it only requires O lvl maths...lol...

2005-07-26T23:45:00.000+08:00

i need to sort out my thoughts before i make stupid statements like......which kinda hurt everyone who bothered to care about what actually is going on...hmm and a big thank you to ql...all those words u have said....they are thought-provoking...hmm...

haha didn't go for art farewell last saturday...went to bro's school instead...cos i have decided i want to be more committed to chess...haha yeah chess rocks...

2005-07-22T00:17:00.000+08:00

i often lose sight of my feelings to achieve goals. in the end, i just lose my own identity.

2005-07-22T00:05:00.000+08:00

sian. i cant believe i actually agreed with ly.

2005-07-20T00:06:00.000+08:00

i let her down. that's one thing that i will never ever forget...

2005-07-18T23:02:00.000+08:00

http://up.yyfc.com/membersong2/2005/5/4/20055435122.mp3

2005-07-13T22:47:00.000+08:00

taken from wenshu's blog:

I'm devastated.We lost to ri 3-0.Lost to nan chiau sec 2-1.Lost to naval base sec 2-1.We were wiped out. Wiped. By weak players. Imagine playing against your opponent, and after 20 minutes you know you've already won. Then you look to your left, and see your teammate behind whacked on all sides by a beginner. You frown and look to your right.. and you see your other teammate having trouble keeping herself alive against another beginner. You turn back, mumble "Shit!" to yourself. You glance at your opponent and see a little smile even though he/she is losing to you.Repeat this two more times. After that, tell yourself that this will happen four more times the next day from 9am to 7pm.Dont wanna blame the other two for losing. But.. we are a jc, and we lost to, not one, but three secondary schools! And it's not like nan chiau and naval base are good, they are relatively weak! We havent even met the jcs and the polys!I hate losing. Ever since sec 3 it has been increasingly difficult for me to accept failure.K.Need to sleep because i require a lot of energy to waste my time tomorrow.Nj weiqi is pathetic=(

man...i am so damn sorry wenshu...i knew i played really badly for sp...i lost every single game...and it's definitely not something to be proud of since i have been playing weiqi for quite some time...argh...this is really the first time i had played so badly...argh argh argh....nvm...today a newbie joined weiqi...hopefully we can train him well and make him become a better player than me...oh well...

these few weeks had been extremely depressing for me...first it was CT results...i got nothing above a D...tt's terrible man...secondly it was sp chess challenge...my worst competition ever...won zero out of seven...totally unbelievable...i truly believe my skills are far off better than my opponents...and before all those matches wenshu convinced me that i would be able to beat them...but guess what happened...lost like shit...sigh...two big blows...woah...

haha but there's still something nice abt my life...chess club's more fun than art club...(read this dy...) chess exco is coooollll....

2005-07-08T22:59:00.000+08:00

hoho...i just lost my sarcasm. i wonder if that's a good thing...

2005-07-07T20:35:00.000+08:00

some testimonials...looking back at them...i actually felt quite sad...i dunno why...i think i really want the old me back...

Joy

she rox man!! haha.. jus like me! :)hope u are having a gd time in nj now..jiayou kae? hope to see ya soon.. andhappy new year!! :)

-jie-

yoz.. this girl ar.. smart alec la..but though she looks very guai she's not ok! hahax..look forward to see yur smiles everyday! rock on girl~

- Incarneto -

hm... yo man! hahaha... long time le..e.. how r u? remember tt u r very smart wo...drawing skills damn power too... hm...believe u r very mature ba... miss u wo...hahaha.. catch up wif u some other time!

-jie-

xin ying!!! hahax smart and interesting girl... thanks for e gift u gave me on my b-day. oh no i 4got when is yurs.. muz tell me kk? okok back to topic... xin ying is a helpful and hardworking dude..eh.. hahax sorry i gt influenced by tat turtle in finding nemo.. yeah. cannot stand her intelligence.. hahax i'm so jealous.. u always do so well for yur tests...hahax... very nice and friendly too.. yea fortunate to have a great fren like u!=)

Yenhui

hey! though xin ying n i dont talk alot in class, i rmb tt we used to sign each other's gbk quite often in the past. we always used to tok abt soccer n she's oso used to give me many reassuring entries in my gbk (to tell me i wasnt alone) when i was upset. thx loads yar :) take care n cya in class!

hilDa

heys! i tink xinying is like a com expert! she's alwaes helping mi wif lotsa blogs n website stuff!she's gd n alwaes v hardworking as well as helpful! heex...she can be qt funny at times...she's a great friend!cyaz gal!

suann

i help u add into "ABOUT ME" heheX... XiNyInG is COOOOOLLL... in fact i think she a bit like jay leh... she doesn't talk much... like happy go lucky... then see you say hi... then she cute cute one... her drawing skills oso damn great... p/s thanks for your card... she's oso very clever... impressive brain... like professor... like that lor... cool hor?

2005-07-06T21:53:00.000+08:00

my life is too ordinary it seems scary. oh well...had weiqi today...haha i think wen shu's not bad at teaching...as in it's rather entertaining haha...went kap for some chess exco meeting...haha discussed that dunno wadever best practice thing...i wonder who thought of this best practice thing...it's kinda dumb really...unless we have excellent stuff to share with the school haha...

got back fm and phy results...damn disappointed...ok i know i didn't study hard enough...and i know i never ever had the determination to complete a test paper in the proper manner no matter how difficult it is...i just leave blanks all over the place like nobody's business...strictly speaking...i could have just used my brain A BIT more and crap something...no harm if i just write down those formulas...but i was just too demoralised to even write them down...a few more marks here and there can make a great difference...k...IT'S OVER. i better work hard for promos if not i can forget about being in 05S04...maybe i might end up in 06S04...who knows...

2005-07-05T22:08:00.000+08:00

hmm...talk about weiqi...no offence to i chess and c chess, but i think weiqi's really more fun haha...as in it's not so "chessy"(does this word even exist? nvm)...the weiqi chessboard is just like a vast piece of "jiang shan"...every move u make will make a lot a lot of difference and a bad move will result in ur jiang shan being broken up into pieces...haha it's just like a helpless king with his land all conquered by the barbarians or dunno wadever...nvm...i shall not crap too much about weiqi...

2005-07-03T22:28:00.000+08:00

i can't believe you don't want me as a friend anymore because i am uncool. FINE. i shall forget about you manx.

2005-07-03T21:57:00.000+08:00

class outing today...i wasn't supposed to be there actually...but i still went...haha...and it rained!!! gosh...and with those disgusting smokers who were under the same shelter as us...yuckS!!!!....haha and me, sam and jung were sharing the same umbrella after moving out of that unhealthy shelther....pathetic...

haha n 4j outing is next sat...but too bad i cant go cos of SP chess challenge...speaking of which i am damn gek now...need to find 2 more players and Natalie didn't want to play....boo...i can't force her if she doesn't want...but i think Fang Jian would be playing since he didn't say know when i smsed him that i would include his name...sigh have to make another trip to SP again liao...

and for those out there who think they are so smart...yeah you can all be the smart alecs...i will remain as the average xin ying...and if you all don't like it...FINE...why should i act smart to suit you all? i like how i am now...maybe not the one whom u often see...you all don't even know me...so stop jumping to conclusions...

i know you are easily influenced by other people's opinions...it's not your fault really...i forgive you for that =) hopefully we can still be good friends....

2005-07-01T20:06:00.000+08:00

we always want things that we don't have...and don't treasure those that we already have...how ironic...

perhaps this blog's going to moves towards abandonment...my life's getting boring every moment...not my fault...it's just how everything is that has shaped my life into LIKE THIS...haha anw am looking foward to bro's sch funfair...and btw i am supposed to help him sell the tickets...hmm maybe i should just give him 50 bucks and buy them all...then go there and stuff myself with food and indulge myself in those u know what kinda standards they are games...sigh but mich may be going with me...yea then i can win big pooh bears for her...she simply adores soft toys...

haha...off to play chess...ok it's weiqi...but my bro wants to play all types of chess with me...ok...fine...

2005-06-27T22:14:00.000+08:00

maybe i am really that stupid...which is why i can never accomplish what i want to do...or maybe it's just my attitude...but i don't wish to change...yea.

i didn't know i would actually enjoy keeping quiet for so long...haha maybe i should just stop talking from now on...detaching oneself from the world may not be a bad thing after all...as in literally not care about anything...hmmm maybe i should call that the apathetic attitude instead...whatever...

ate lotsa ice cream for the past two days...maybe ice cream makes me happy...haha chocolates can't...i ate too much until they have no effect on me anymore...

yea...learnt something new today...expect the unexpected...you will find things easier to accept under any circumstance...

3 more papers to go...can't wait for this torture to be over...

2005-06-25T14:44:00.000+08:00

he sux...pui...what kinda friend is he??? so irresponsible...and tries to act attitude at the wrong time...wth...

feeling better now...but haven't finished studying yet...sigh...

2005-06-23T15:38:00.000+08:00

i pity zhihui. she spent two hours trying to find the value of time for this kinematics qn and in the end i told her the time stated in the qn was for both parts....woah seh...pathetic gal...

2005-06-23T12:54:00.000+08:00

i hate to be sick. argh. no steamboat. argh.

2005-06-21T13:42:00.000+08:00

holiday's coming to an end, but i still have so much things undone. hmm...and i conclude that i am not an organised person...i have tried hard to change...but i guess being organised isn't really my forte....haha...lost my PI...think i would have to ask Mrs Lau for it...

wonder who really reads my blog...it's full of crap and it's made up of mostly low-intelligence thinking....haha....

2005-06-20T17:40:00.000+08:00

and my computer's ok after all.

2005-06-19T18:08:00.000+08:00

was supposed to have a class outing at sentosa today...unfortuately only 6 turned up...cindy, yunru, dianyang, yuanshuai, jc and me...we ended up at yunru's house and started mugging...cindy left halfway to go for another mugging session plus wheelchair cip thing...in the end left dianyang and i...haha then yunru and i looked at some ex-SN pple online pics...haha i can't agree more that girl's really cute. haha....

Physics--almost undone except a bit of g-field
Chemistry--same as physics...read a bit of chem bonding only
Maths--vectors, calculus, trigo undone

haha i am so so DEAD. nvm.

2005-06-16T12:48:00.000+08:00

camp ended. but still in the studio using i-mac. doing this. using wenshu's one. this morning was terrible. fell asleep after playing weiqi. ruoyun tried to wake me up but she failed and so she and sharon went back to TA31 to sleep. guess wad...door was locked. woke up a bit later...went out of studio and knocked at the door...knocked for so long...no one responded...so walked around the school to find a place to sleep. PATHETIC man...actually i could choose to go back to studio...but all were watching movie...so didn't felt like going in and disturbing people...ended up sleeping at a bench outside library...slept for about 3 hours and woke up at around 6...walked again...tried to knock at the door again...FAILED to get in....again....dumped my blanket at the door...walked around...found this small corner and sat down...tried to sleep...then moved to amphitheatre...nice place...sat and fell asleep...woke up...8 am....door opened....FINALLY.

just realised something rather shocking...that piece of artwork which i have always adored might not belong to jy at all...or rather...i am quite sure it's not his...i think it's ben's....GOSH. wad a big mistake. oh and i found out something interesting too...i have this guy friend who has problems talking with gals...hmm......interesting...he doesn't look like it at all...

i guess from now on i don't dare to dream big anymore...dreams are terrible...they made me heartbroken...i don't wanna be hurt again.......never again......i know it's spastic to give up just like that......i know i shouldn't be doing that...but for now...i just want to keep my heart numb and not think about dreams anymore......they are somehow useless to me now....

2005-06-16T01:20:00.000+08:00

at art camp now...in the studio using i-mac...others followin up the movie marathon thing...it's a.m. now...haha so cool...and before this i just trashed someone at weiqi...19 X 19 one...yeah...at least that has helped me get rid of some auguish temporarily...exco handover today...my two gd frenz are in the exco...yeah...congrats haha...me leh...hmm i remain as the gal in chess exco. tt's it...no more no less...=)

i know i have a very bad attitude towards alot of things...and i don't wish to change...cos i know people won't care. bah...

i am a stupid gal. it's only until now then i realise that most guys are jerks and most gals are EVIL...EVIL...a few guys are EVIL too...

something new that i learned today: don't trust yourself fully.

2005-06-12T23:06:00.000+08:00

totally ill now. and tmr i am going for art camp. gosh. my nose is blocked. my throat hurts. i haven't bathe yet.

yltc was fun. but decided that i should not blog it down cos it's gonna be so long i dunno when i can finish typing. my hands are too weak to carry me far.

went out today. collected my maths stuff from dy at popular. rushed off to choa chu kang to meet jane and jung. we didn't expect energy to be there for their mini concert too haha. it was really crowded there and we had to enter the shopping centre from the other entrance which was way far back. met ian and ql later. purpose of outing: celebrate ql's bdae which was supposesd to be on the 10th.

something terrible happened on the train. ian fainted. we were too shocked to say anything. guessed everyone was scared out of their wits. reason for fainting: he's afraid of blood and we were actually talking about it. we didn't know about it until he told us later. =X

new taboo: nothing about blood k?

so sick i don't wanna continue anymore. nite.

2005-06-05T22:59:00.000+08:00

coughx...feelin sick all over...and tmr will b the start of yltc...i gonna die...both physically and mentally...after two days of mental torture(chess comp), i gonna go for a camp that tortures me physically....ewww...i dunno how i am going to survive through this...

n so sad....not in the same art camp group and yh or jy...they are so enthusiastic lor....but luckily my group still got hui min...she seems quite nice haha....SN one...

2005-06-01T00:47:00.000+08:00

YLTC pre-camp wasn't as bad as i thought. actually it's quite bad cos i wasn't in the mood for camps. but anyway there was this comical guy in my team who actually thought the oreo ice cream at Macs was called MCFluffy...and he said it for two years with no one correcting him....haha...all of us were laughing so hard and he actually didn't think it was funny...woah interesting sense of humour, Benjamin...

It'a a sad thing to realise that i don't actually like to socialise unless necessary...and when caught in such a situation, i choose to act sick so that no one will disturb me...spastic me.

Maybe i should just quit AC. the J1s are simply making me sick. i dunno lar. i hate it...and the seniors aren't very great people with the exception of yh and jy. i think they really show passion for art...i admire them...unlike some people who dun even want to........bah....i think compared to them i showed more passion for not just art but the cca itself lar. At least i made it a point to go for every cca session unless something urgent arises...and i even paid over 10 bucks for taxi to attend one of the sessions just because i wanted to reach the destination on time....i don't understand how people can just skip cca sessions like nobody's business and still think that they are very SMART. wth.

ok i know i sounded really childish above. just trying to vent my anger yar. hopefully i can ta han for the next two years. i think first i wld have to see who's in the exco...if the president is that woman whom didn't even bothered to say hi to me when i said hi to her....i WILL quit. At least my weiqi seniors are much nicer than those bunch of idiots. bah.

2005-05-28T22:55:00.000+08:00

Fang Ruilin. the only male violist in hcjc. section leader of viola. a good soloist. double maths double science student. member of spore youth orchestra.
gosh. really talented lar.

2005-05-28T17:41:00.000+08:00

when i am sad, i sleep.

2005-05-27T00:03:00.000+08:00

looks like i should not be wasting time on bitchy people...

not a really good day...kinda stressed...by pple...by art club...i am not good with handling stress...actually wanted to talk with mich today...but then school ended at 5.20...and she had to go for RJ concert at 6...yeah too bad...and no one's free tmr to play bball with me!!!...sigh...everyone's busy...

tt new maths teacher's WEIRD. i think he dislikes slackers like me. =X

2005-05-24T19:50:00.000+08:00

it has just been proven that i am really an INFJ.

Your #1 Match: INFJ

The Protector
You live your life with integrity, originality, vision, and creativity.Independent and stubborn, you rarely stray from your vision - no matter what it is.You are an excellent listener, with almost infinite patience.You have complex, deep feelings, and you take great care to express them.
You would make a great photographer, alternative medicine guru, or teacher.

What's" Your Personality Type?

2005-05-24T19:34:00.000+08:00

it was all but a LIE...a lie which i only realised now...and i am at fault...so don't even say sorry...it's far too inappropriate...

2005-05-20T23:08:00.000+08:00

tons of homework undone...don't think i hang out with hardworking people means i am hardworking too...i dont even know how i ended up with people who are so hardworking in the first place...

went back SN today to collect cert and visit my juniors...was so damn glad to see them...all the same old faces...the SN gals...SN's great...but it feels kinda diff now...perhaps it's because i don't belong there anymore...

oh yeah went back there with minli...long time never see her liao...was complaining to her about my school life in nj...haha and i realised i missed her "hrrnnnhh" sounds...yeah she never makes me feel infuriated...ate orange bowl...and she treated me to two iced teas...haha actually it's because i was broke...so she gave me a dollar to get two cups.....

tudi, xinying and annette are really great juniors...so welcoming...hahahaha and xinying who's only sec 3 is so excited about going to jc in TWO years' time...she cannot seem to wait for secondary life to be over haha...but i told her that she certainly should enjoy secondary life...it's so much more carefree...

but yeah there were quite a lot of unfamiliar faces too...cos chess club and cldds merged...sian....felt a bit out of place...but yeah tudi, xy, and annette had indeed made me feel better...now i don't feel so sad anymore...cos i know someone out there still cares...

2005-05-18T21:35:00.000+08:00

like ian has said...everything's like a viscious cycle...now i truly understood what he meant...seems like things have not truly ended yet even though i actually thought so after such a long period of "torture"...something new but bad's approaching...another round of dilemma and torment again...so heartbroken...but can't do anything about it...nothing's within control, perhaps not even my mediocre brain...it's getting smarter, constantly trying to break away from my control...this sux...i wish it can settle down and think through carefully before making senseless decisions...argh. i CANT CONTROL IT.

track and field meet today...quite ok...anyway lignum was the champion...so it wasn't as bad as i first thought after all...no weiqi today because of that...hmm need to do something about my skills...

2005-05-17T21:44:00.000+08:00

didnt feel like doing work...so yea i am here...

dont understand how my younger bro can nag at me LIKE THAT...

this sucks. i just knew it...

work...work...work...art. i cant help but laugh at my own simplicity. but if u were to give me a chance once again, i would still take the same path. sometimes things just dont change even though you badly want to change them. or rather i should say that people just accept their fates without thinking twice. it's just a matter of time before people forget what they really want because by then they have learnt to accept everything that comes and treat them as per normal...

2005-05-15T23:16:00.000+08:00

weiqi comp comin soon...boo...and i don't know if tudi's participating...smsed her and she said probably not going...then suggested i pay for her to go...hmm i will make sure she goes yea..

food fair yesterday...quite cool...did earn sth...and wenpan was extremely enthu...stood there and cut the coconuts haha...he didn't look tired at all so power...no wonder he's a canoeist...

life's getting terribly plain...not much stuff to blog about...yea

2005-05-13T02:48:00.000+08:00

all because of PI, i can only blog at the weirdest point of the day...2.54am...so weird...never did such a thing before....but yeah it's because i am doing PW...that's why my mum unwillingly allowed me to use my comp until now...until the monitor even changed color lar...nth interesting happened yesterday actually but yeah nvm...my life has always been this boring lar...oh yar...i need to organise my chem prac notes...shucks...btw bought a SO concert ticket from mich...yeah...classical music rocks...

better go sleep now since i am done with PI...if mum catches me here...i am DEAD.

2005-05-10T18:42:00.000+08:00

NJ
-class =)
-work =
-people =)
-cca ?

maybe i really should get a rechargable battery for my mp3...i am spending far too much on such resources......music is good yeah...but can't afford to spend all on it if not i won't get that much pocket money if mum finds out...

other than schoolwork...life's really OK. nth went wrong...so glad...zhi hui's right...i should have asked for her advice long ago...i would have been in a even better state now...but yeah quite satisfied already...so hmm doesn't matter...

haha i should be doing PI now yet...hehe...nvm...was just thinking about those days again...in SN...it's just so cool to see yen that group of people play basketball and go "woah!" at their good shooting skills...and i truly missed playing bball with mich, minli, jingfang....and even joy and mich chua...oh and not forgetting yoshika too haha...feelings seemed just so different...enjoyed playing bball with them more than anyone else...but of course the best person to play bball with would be my brother who's so movitated to get in all those 3-pointers haha...and his dribbling skills are good...yeah...n i missed playing weiqi with my tudi also!!! going back this fri to get JJ's cd from her and also to pass annette her birthday present...and hopefully tudi remembers to bring xinying's valentine's day present for me...

2005-05-04T19:19:00.000+08:00

i am exhausted. Sometimes i really wish i can't talk...then i would not have to communicate with anyone. Talking can actually be quite tiring if you didn't realise it...and i don't think it's my fault that i can't convey my ideas properly. no one ever taught me how to. so if u misunderstood me, that's ur own business. i can't be bothered anymore.

a long day at school...did nothing but the PI planning...it sucks cos i have a limited number of brain cells...seems like no matter how long i sleep, i will still somehow fall asleep in class...so there's simply no point in sleeping more at home right? hmm so perhaps i should just reach school early tomorrow to eat cup noodles and proceed on with that spastic dynamics two which i don't quite understand...so many work undone...too many to list...to many to think of...

don't feel like eating nowadays...argh. paid 10 bucks for class fund...now i don't have enough money to buy that bag...but in the first place i already don't have enough money so yeah it doesn't really matter haix...no chance to save up cos mum gives me money only when i have spent all of my pocket money...and i actually feel guilty if i take money from her even though my wallet's full of notes...don't know why...maybe i should start getting money from my dad too...he never seemed to contribute even a cent to the family...every cent comes from my mum instead...i wonder why...

2005-05-03T22:05:00.000+08:00

looks like things are getting a bit better...cross my fingers + toes...yeah yeah this time it should work...

still haven't do PI yet...and it's supposed to be due on thurs...haha...

2005-05-01T19:48:00.000+08:00

stupid PI. yucks...how did the moe think of such a sucky way to test us?

need to study those weiqi di shis once again...cos some of those which i learnt last week were apparently not appropriate now...for this century yar....

studied quite a bit on sat and sun...hmm finally could concentrate rather well...haha that was quite a big improvement...hope i can continue to be like this...i only have two years...or rather 1 year and 7 months...yeah...good luck...

started a bit on the business plan thing...hmm forgot to note down the prices of the disposable utensils...haha shall just put them under the variable costs category which doesn't seem to make sense cos prices of spoons and forks hardly fluctuate...but i shall just talk about the realisation that there might be not enough utensils in the end after the preparation of food so more utensils may actually be added at the last minute cos........yeah.

2005-04-30T21:05:00.000+08:00

changed my mind in the end and went back to SN to watch the sports day...cheerleading was rather good yeah...was glad that i went back...partly because i saw zhi hui...yeah and lotsa cool ex-SN people...haha in NJ i don't seem to see so many of these sort of people...

talked to caijie about nj stuff...then saw zhi hui and went to talk to her...was telling her about my problems...yeah i think in future she may actually turn out to be a good counsellor...what she said truly made sense...and i am very sure what i had been doing for the past 4 months were really senseless...i really should pull myself out and view everything in an objective manner...and she actually told me i was good enough liao...i don't need to be nice to people...i should be more aware of self-interest yar...hmm...i don't know, but somehow zhi hui's words will positively affect me...and hopefully i can be myself again...as in the xin ying in SN...maybe every action of the past was too overboard...zhi hui told me i literally overdid it...hmm and she said something which i thought may or may not be true...hmm and this is affecting my work...can't conc on my work...so caught up that i didn't even know how to find the number of moles of a particular substance...so confused...nothing's clear to me at first until zhi hui talked to me...thank u zh...

and something interesting here...zhi hui was saying she didn't want to like anymore cos she's afraid of the "ups and downs" feelings...haha so funny...it was something like she just didn't want to handle too many events that involve the emotions...so she chooses to be bothered about family matters and some other really impt stuff only....hmm maybe that's sth smart which i should learn from her too...

2005-04-28T22:37:00.000+08:00

woah...first time he ever took the initiative to say bye to me...haha

i don't understand my mum at all...i think she doesn't understand me too...and both of us just don't seem willing to improve the situation...well to me i guess i have done all i can...it all depends on her now i feel...yes i know...i am lazy, i am stupid, i am rude, i am unfilial, i like to drag, i don't complete things fast, i talk rubbish, i eat too much, i listen to mp3 too often, i go online at the wrong time, i study at the wrong time, i sleep at the wrong time and wrong place, i sleep after 12, i act indifferent towards things, i don't think of others, i don't go home early, i always spend too much time outside home, i chat too much on msn, i sms too much, i use up paper really fast, i don't drink water, i am too tired to wash my clothes and socks and towel, i want to get away from washing the dishes...haha there's even more...but u see...have u actually verified all?...nope you didn't...u are like me, jumping to conclusions whenever possible...

2005-04-25T22:28:00.000+08:00

lost my wallet on 852 today...called ql n she helped me call the dir assist which we didn't know charges extra fees...anw i was that lucky...the bus driver found it when the bus returned to bukit batok interch...i called bukit batok interch...n went to collect it 5.15pm...hmm need to be more careful next time...was telling cindy i need some retributions lar...too heng liao...must make me lose sth so that next time i wld be more alert...no one can be THAT lucky all the time yar...so in the end didn't tap the attendance cards...dy's card was with me lor...paiseh dy......

haha i didn't know jy has such a nice smile!! arrhhh hhaha he's so cute lar...arhhhhh my super super idol...

i know i am really pathetic now...i don't need you to rub more salt onto my wound...yea i may seem painless on the outside...but so? argh.
hmm sometimes it feels great to be stupid, or rather innocent...that can save me a lot of trouble...i already have enough negative stuff to keep me occupied...i don't want anymore...

couldn't even do one qn for the maths test...GREAT...haha aiming to be the last in class haha...and i know some people's gonna look down on me...what friends are they huh i wonder...btw st. nicks is havin sports day on thurs...gosh i miss st. nicks sports day lar...so loud...so vibrant...everyone's so involved...all doing family dance and cheering hard to clinch victory for their houses....hmm...st. nicks is a great school...

2005-04-24T17:40:00.000+08:00

life's rather great now. at least i don't have to worry so much about ... anymore. there's lotsa work to be done, but i guess they aren't really impt to me anymore. hmm should commit myself more to art and weiqi...btw i just joined the design committee of art club...looking forward to designing stuff every day....yeah...shall keep myself occupied so that those idiotic people won't flood my brain so much...

2005-04-22T00:16:00.000+08:00

so yeah here i am again in a dilemma...hmm why should i bother so much about how others feel? just tell her everything lar...yeah this's getting a bit unhealthy man...and i can't let this drag on forever...

sometimes i really feel that i am a selfish gal...but then again if i can protect myself by telling her nothing, why not? ok so maybe i am the cynical one here...i don't trust people...and the worst thing is i don't trust the right person. poor judgement i suppose. believing in the wrong people and accusing the good people instead...

i think i still haven't gotten used JC life...i feel RESTRICTED, OPPRESSED...and i am certainly depressed too...people are weird...weird weird...really....

2005-04-19T23:52:00.000+08:00

it was a dream after all.

I realised his eyes could talk. I enjoyed looking at them. My heart almost stopped beating. Those stares were simply too powerful.

my world's gonna fall apart really soon. I want to tell, but i have no idea when's the best moment. I know that if my prediction's true, I would be hurt if i say the truth. So hmm. Maybe my life would contain lotsa regrets. We shall see...

2005-04-18T23:47:00.000+08:00

my life's kinda stagnant now. work's in a mess, i don't feel like continuing anymore. Social circle's also in a mess, i see no point in making more friends. Puke. My tooth still hurts. Terrible mum plus horrible spoon. The two big culprits. Now i don't even dare to look at my teeth through the mirror. That tooth may just fall off who knows.

i always feel excited whenever i get to listen to jay's songs. his music can heal me. it simply drives away my agony. it has made a great influence on me hmm. and i actually think that he brings my good luck. that's why i put his picture in my file once again. how i wish i can compose good music like he does. then maybe i will be able to bring happiness to people like me. haha.

going to play bball with minli tmr. so exciting. it's been a long time since i looked her up. yeah she's a really really nice gal. i miss her whinings and all. miss those days when we did stupid things like hmm...... and she's that kind of person you would really want to protect no matter what...but yeah she's definitely mentally and emotionally stronger than me even though physcially she is quite weak lar.

going to parliament tmr. hmm NE trip. would miss FM tut and Chem. haha can't exactly be bothered. by the way i think mrs yeo hates me now. i never seemed to be able to perform my practicals properly. haha i am clumsy and confuses acids with bases. yeah maybe if i get level 1 for spa, i may just quit school.

2005-04-17T11:25:00.000+08:00

life is actually rather ok now...but occasionally i do complain hmm...i guess i need to appreciate the good things...and not just harp on the negative cases...yeah hopefully in this way i can enjoy myself better.

did that test for the third time...first time was INFJ, second time was INFP, now it is INFJ...hmm but for the last category the percentage is low...so maybe i can perceive and judge at the same time? haha what nonsense...but yeah a counsellor idealist sounds nicer than a healer idealist i suppose...but haha it's all the same lah...idealist...a dreamer...not pragmatic enough...doesn't sound a good sign man since i am living in singapore, a country which does not exactly support idealistic and unpractical moves...hmm...

2005-04-10T17:52:00.000+08:00

i didn't know something could be that important to me. i thought i could make myself emotionless, but i guess i kinda failed. haha maybe i am growing again? i seem to be growing constantly, not in height of course. at the same time i have become more pragmatic.

read mr neo's blog. suddenly i realised i really miss my childhood days. i just loved drawing then and had so much time for them. now i hardly have time to think of drawing. never had thought that i could actually stop drawing now. hmm i guess it's laziness that's playing a trick on me. i have time. it's just whether i want to do it or not.

I am a contradictory person. please get this clear ok? I don't know why. don't ask me.

2005-03-30T20:30:00.000+08:00

haha...had 2 hrs of free time today in school...so the people and i went to the upper oasis to slack...and of course our liyan and meihui were mugging lar...haha now i know how she got her 6 points...played zjmm again...the game we always play when we run out of ideas...and dare or truth was added to spice things up...ql was dared to call ian to say those mushy mushy stuff...bingzhao the extra guy was dared to call claire and date her...others were dared to flirt or seduce people and non-living things...haha...then alf came...he joined in the game...and we dared him to flirt with zl...and he did! haha...and zl was like planning to do the cath high flirt thingy...but in the end he didn't...boo...next time we must make him do that...

was rather lethargic today...fell asleep during chem lecture...went for weiqi meeting at 3.30...section leader was late...met dy and his fren johnathon...and saw this guy who was the angklung conductor...and dy thought he was some construction worker...haha...perhaps artistic people carry themselves around in this really weird manner...

actually forgotten almost 90% of that functions thingy...gosh...i wonder how i passed my a maths man...oh btw...kenneth koh rox...i like his accent...

oh and we have a family tree for ourselves now...haha and it's called the "stone" family...and zl said the surname is "shi"...hmmm...cool man...and i am youngest in the family...cos i am the shortest...-_-...i need to grow........suggested to ql that she should just quit air rifle cos it's taking up too much of her time...but then she said that she's close to the people there...so yeah i think she better don't quit...if not she will lose lotsa friends...

meiyan doesn't happy at all...i wonder what's wrong with her...sometimes i just don't dare to approach her cos i am afraid i may just say the wrong thing at the wrong time...and i think she's trying to be "zi bi" also.....something's going on out there and i don't know what is it...pray that she will be ok...

2005-03-27T19:22:00.000+08:00

hmm...don't ask me why this blog suddenly became so cold recently...i also don't know...

read dianyang's blog and i was kinda touched by his comments on those who left 05S04...didn't know that he's that sentimental...guess i should write sth on them too...

Doris. My lao po. same class with her since sec 2...sec 3 and sec 4 didn't really talk to her cos i didn't quite like the people she hung out with...but when we came to jc, we actually got "married"! haha...she's nice lar...and i can see that she really likes njc and the class a lot...sigh. but she lives quite near me, so i can go visit her one day maybe...

Ian. The one who eats non-stop. haha one of the really nice guys in class and someone whom u can share ur troubles with...will definitely miss him man...especially at the canteen...and njc canteen is one of the things that he misses...hmmm heard ny canteen is pathetic...

Long Cheng. The really tall guy who looks a bit like the cartoon version of Ou De Yang. Has got fingers that are so so long...fun to hang out with and talk to...hope that he can fulfil his dreams...and u can go guess what are his dreams...

Han Qi. The big friendly guy. Our very nice maths rep. Hardly talk to him...but he is really nice...hmm...

Kent. The very cheery guy. We need people like him in the class...all his interesting replies to those spastic teachers and haha...he tries to talk to everyone and also tries to involve everyone in stuff...the really cool ne ambassador...will miss him.

2005-03-15T17:39:00.000+08:00

Mockingbird --taken from http://www.kikikoko.idv.tw
[ Intro ]

Yeah
I know sometimes things might not always make sense to you right now
But hey, what daddy always tell you?
Straighten up little soldier
Stiffen up that upper lip
What'chu crying about?
You got me..

[ Verse 1 ]

Hailie, I know you miss your mom
And I know you miss your dad when Iˇm gone
But Iˇm trying to give you the life that I never had
I can see youˇre sad
Even when you smile
Even when you laugh
I can see it in your eyes
Deep inside, you wanna cry
Cuz youˇre scared
I ainˇt there?
Daddyˇs with you in your prayers
No more crying
Wipe them tears
Daddyˇs here
No more nightmares
We gonna pull together through it
We gonˇ do it
Laini, uncleˇs crazy ainˇt he?
Yeah but he loves you girl and you better know it
Weˇre all we got in this world
When it spins
When it swirls
When it whirls
When it twirls
Two little beautiful girls
Looking puzzled, in a daze
I know itˇs confusing you
Daddyˇs always on the move
Mamaˇs always on the news
I try to keep you sheltered from it
But somehow it seems, the harder that I try to do that
the more it backfires on me
All the things, growing up
As daddy that he had to see
Daddy donˇt want you to see
But you see just as much as me (to see?)
That we did not plan it to be this way
Youˇre mother and me
But things have got so bad between us
I donˇt see us ever being
Together ever again
Like we used to be when was teenagers
But then of coarse
Everything always happens for a reason
I guess it was never meant to be
But itˇs just something
We have no control over
And thatˇs what destiny is
But no more worries
Rest your head and go to sleep
Maybe one day weˇll wake up
And this will all just be a dream

[ Chorus ]

Now hush little baby donˇt you cry
Everythings gonna be alright
Stiffen that upper lip up little lady
I told ya, daddyˇs here to hold ya
Through the night
I know mommyˇs not here right now and we donˇt know why
We feel how we feel inside
It may seem a little crazy, pretty baby
But I promise, Mamaˇs gonna be alright

[ Verse 2 ]

Itˇs funny
I remember back one year when daddy had no money
Mommy wrapped the Christamas presents up
and stuck them under the tree
and said some of them were from me
Cos daddy couldnˇt buy ˉem
Iˇll never forget that Christmas
I sat up the whole night cryinˇ
Cuz daddy felt like a bum
See dadday had a job
But his job was to keep the food on the table for you and mom
And at the time every house that we lived in
Either kept getting broken into and robbed or shot up on the block
And your mom, was saving money
For you in a jar trying to start a piggy bank for you
So you can go to college
Almost had a thousand dollars
Till someone broke in and stole it
And I know it hurt so bad it broke your mamaˇs heart
And it seemed like everything was just starting to fall apart
Mom and dads was arguing a lot
So mama moved back on the _?____ and the flat
One bedroom apartment
And dad moved back to the other side of 8 mile on Novarra
And thatˇs when daddy went to California with his CD
And met Dr. Dre and flew you and Mama out to see me
But daddy had to work
You and mama had to leave me
Then you started seeing daddy on the TV
And mama didnˇt like it
And you and Laini were too young to understand it
Papa was a rolling stone
mama developed a habit
and it all happened too fast for either one of us to grab it
Iˇm just sorry you were there and had to witness it first hand
Cuz all I ever wanted to do was just make you proud
Now Iˇm sittinˇ in this empty house, just reminiscinˇ
Looking at your baby pictures it just trips me out
To see how much you both have grown
Itˇs almost like your sisters now
Wow, I guess you pretty much are
And daddyˇs still here
Laini Iˇm talking to you too
Daddyˇs still here
I like the sound of that, yeah
Itˇs got a ring to it, donˇt it?
Shhh, mamaˇs only gone for the moment

[ Chorus ]

Now hush little baby donˇt you cry
Everythings gonna be alright
Stiffen that upper lip up little lady
I told ya daddyˇs here to hold ya
Through the night
I know mommyˇs not here right now and we donˇt know why
We feel how we feel inside
It may seem a little crazy pretty baby
But I promise
Mamaˇs gonna be alright

[ Outro]

And if you ask me to,
Daddyˇs gonna buy you a mocking bird
Iˇma give you the world
Iˇma buy a diamond ring for you
Iˇma sing for you, Iˇll do anything for you to see you smile
And if the mockingbird donˇt sing and the ring donˇt shine
Iˇma break that birdyˇs neck
Iˇll go back to the ***eler who sold it to ya
And make him eat every karat
Donˇt fuck wit dat.
haha

2005-03-14T18:21:00.000+08:00

i have so many secrets with me. and it's others' secrets, not mine. i hope i don't say them out in my dreams.

2005-03-13T20:55:00.000+08:00

i am bored.

2005-03-12T13:14:00.000+08:00

y wld i want to lie to u man? what's the prob with u? where do u think i can go on the web huh? can u trust me more? to mum, from me

2005-03-09T23:09:00.000+08:00

hell. the best place which i can go. heaven should never be polluted by someone like me...

2005-03-06T22:01:00.000+08:00

Kissing away. haha i am so abnormal man....

2005-03-05T00:06:00.000+08:00

let's pray for them and hope that they will stay...

2005-03-03T20:44:00.000+08:00

oh...so jane, junguang, ian and me are now at jane's house and i am using jane's comp....lah lah...and ian is playing the piano...haha he looks so muscially inclined man...woah kao.............................someone just didn't want me to type sth man...yah cos she dosen't want to appear stupid....hahah i shall not say who she is hahahahahahahahahahhahaha.....heh ian play a song!!!!! junguang and jane are in their own world man....so i can use her comp....yeha 1st time blogging in someone's hse...so fun...got tension's music plus some piano music from ian...cool cool...some people's mugging out there...i will get an E again man hint hint....oi oi oi....so idiotic lah....ya ya someone says this is rubbish....i shall throw this down the chute later...but dunno how leh...this is not a piece of anything wad...something virtual leh...so it doesn't really matter if it's rubbish anot...oh so sad longch left early...if not i think he will be laughing at this...i want him to smile more...shucks...pple mugging i typing rubbish..................slack slack slack...how cool man...who cares about maths quiz man????!!!!! it's a QUIZ lah...that person doesn't give a damn man....ian do u glive a damn? NO...yeah me too lah...only the TWO PROTON + ELECTRON behind care abt such stuff...we should enjoy life man....like playing the keyboard....haha ian is entertaining....that person aso...oh that person doesn't want his/her (choose urself or u can include both if u want) name to be mentioned...great...this entry....longest in march....maybe.....hmmmm i love this man....piano plus tension....cool play on play on ian.........dunno wad song he's playing also....but quite nice lah....hmmm that person wants to change the music track....he/she's more interested in another song...but i typing now lah...then i like this song...so too bad lah...hahahahahaa......ok....i crapped too much liao....too high liao....oh this is damn late lah...hahahaahahahahah gp not done shall go school tmr and chao liyan's.....................the smart 6-pointer.....oh by the way today maths lesson damn funny lah...lights out.....then neo shifted the projector light haha...people were using phones as lights lar...then alfy's phone got torchlight one lar...K700i....my one K500i dun haf.........waahhh....from that person: "plz continue".....ok i got nth more to say liao....really really nth more...haha that person's SO BORED that he/she wants to sleep liao lah...i know...he/she doesn't enjoy tension's or ian's music....oh no not true...he/she's bored by me....hahahaha....then dunno wad ian doing lah...trying to play piano by referring to his phone? hahaahhahaahahahaha..........then wad am i doing huh? reporting on what they are doing?.....oh proton + electron still doing work and mugging....haha if they see this...hahah oh that person + me + ian want to fail maths together leh...so cool hahahah.....................oh electron's spoiled man....nvr go and iron her clothes....ok i am just joking k....i know she very hardworking one....yes if not she will not be mugging...she will be starring at this screen lah like that person and ian....ahahahahahahha see pple i am so damn bored lah......that's why i am crapping like tt...sorry lah yunru if u are reading this...this is totally crap...u shouldn't haf wasted ur time meh........ok nth more to say liao......=D

2005-03-02T23:08:00.000+08:00

haha i suddenly realised that there's a need for me to be careful with words...i hate this feeling cos i somehow feel restricted...but then again it's a better way out if not i may just cause too much trouble for people...

the sudden high and low thing came back to me today...haha what the hell...i really hate that lah but i seemed to be addicted to this sort of "emotions bungee jumping"...can't pull myself out of it haha...and played so many rounds of zhong ji mi ma today with so many people...then i didn't know why lor so funny...i actually got the number the first time(ql was the number keeper)...hmmm but i guess i ain't that psychic...i was just lucky that's all...then me ql ian jung used uno cards to play daidi and bridge...haha that's how we called out for our partners for bridge:" # of red/yellow/blue/green"...haha to think that we could actually play these games using uno cards...haha a bit despo lah...but no choice cos we can't possibly play poker in the students' lounge...wanted to play pool...but then ql said had to pay money...then i had no money at all in my wallet...gosh so broke...spent so much last wk cos i kept going out...first went beach, mb then went tpml...played pool, arcade...didn't watch movie luckily if not i would had been more broke than ever...kept eating out until i felt quite sick of it...anyway i would probably be going out again very soon...haha just feel like slacking all the way until term 1 is over...argh life sux big time...yucks insects are flying around now...i better stop...this is really disgusting man...i hate flying objects haha...

2005-03-01T22:15:00.000+08:00

we shall pray and confess...we shall be quiet...we shall love everyone...we shall keep our promises...we shall make everything possible...

2005-02-26T00:03:00.000+08:00

You Are 16 Years Old

16

Under 12: You are a kid at heart. You still have an optimistic life view - and you look at the world with awe.

13-19: You are a teenager at heart. You question authority and are still trying to find your place in this world.

20-29: You are a twentysomething at heart. You feel excited about what's to come... love, work, and new experiences.

30-39: You are a thirtysomething at heart. You've had a taste of success and true love, but you want more!

40+: You are a mature adult. You've been through most of the ups and downs of life already. Now you get to sit back and relax.

What Age Do You Act?

2005-02-23T23:15:00.000+08:00

fm-14

so long as i dont get more than 6 for chem...i will not have to give a treat...=D

this is getting damn sicko lah. i need to do some reflectionx...

2005-02-22T22:34:00.000+08:00

BET: to anyone out there interested...xin ying will give u a treat if she scores more than 20 for both fm and chem.

sugar makes me feel ^HIGH.....haha...yah u make me high too lah.....=D to everyone out there who have made me happy...u have made me high TOO!!!

jay chou rocks till the end of the world...david tao rocks till the end of the universe...i sux till the end of the day......

2005-02-21T22:37:00.000+08:00

argh. yeah i haven't started on chemistry yet. great man. i will fail so that no one will be last in class. but anyway who cares abt tests? they don't prove anything man...yah yah and i seriously DON'T LIKE CHEMISTRY...or rather this subj is just too tough for me...yeah i am not smart enough that's all i can say.
was at the seven eleven shop at khatib mrt station buying this milo freezy thing when this old lady came over and asked me if the drink was nice...haha she's so damn interesting man...cos she was complaining how expensive food is these days and that in the past, the drinks only cost abt 20 cents while now my that milo thing costs 2 bucks...haha then she suggested to me that i should just go home and make it myself and then i replied, "But now i am really thirsty." She's just so funny lah...
**this does not concern the person who is reading this...so u don't have to read........heh brother i am waiting for ur sms leh...why u like nvr reply one huh???
and here i stress once again: I DON'T WANT TO LEAVE NJ.

2005-02-19T19:43:00.000+08:00

my life is a total crap. spent my whole day sleepin today. felt so much better now. didn't go cath high to attend the music festival cos i was just too tired and couldn't be bothered. Sorry tudi...not going for that art club reunion thing cos i felt it's none of my business...n yea i totally suck at calculations...but i am not going to drop fm...cos i don't want soh to feel superior...yea somehow...by hook or by crook...i need to prove myself worthy...went claire's house yesterday to celebrate diany's bday...and we played zhong ji mi ma...then yunru, ian and longch just kept zhong-ing the number and had to finish the leftover food...goodness i hope their stomachs are ok now...

oh anyway when i am free one day, i shall take out a piece of paper and write down the names of my eye candies before the number of them becomes uncountable...haha so many of them lah...but i think hmmm i shall just write down the more impt ones...and if i CAN draw them out i will try...

NOW I REALLY DON"T WANT TO LEAVE NJ...

2005-02-16T22:15:00.000+08:00

i hate the fact that mich and minli are down there at hc...i know yes i have zhihui here with me...but...y didn't we all just go hc in the first place? ok ok ya...actually i am quite happy with my current frenx...but i do miss mich and minli...i hope to see them really really soon...yeah had art club meeting today...goodness my group had only two pple...the rest were absent...left only senior junyi n me haha...then we started to talk abt jc n all tt...then another senior mk came over...he's damn funny lar...talk to jy using secret codes...haha art club pple are really fun...and then another senior yuehan was like singing dummy songs...hahah...yes then cos my grp had nth to do and jy was called to guard the photography room door...i followed yh and his grp members to go around the school and take pics of the school building and also some vandalism stuff...then saw ian and ql in the classrm...n they were talkin n obviously waitin for me to be dimissed......haha n guess wad...i ate two dinners AGAIN...i wonder how heavy i am now...=P

2005-02-15T22:26:00.000+08:00

heh from now on xin ying shall make herself understandable...

2005-01-15T23:44:00.000+08:00

haha today met up with qianling at bus stop...8 am...cos i wanted her to accompany me to the angklung thing...then yeah in sch we saw zhengliang...haha if u had chatted on msn yest...u wld haf known that he's actually quite lame too hmm...anyway three of us went for angklung...but i left after 10 mins cos i had to go for the art club thing...felt so guilty for leaving qianling behind cos her main motive of coming to sch was to just accompany me so that i wld not feel lonely haha...anyway...i guess now she has fallen in love with angklung lah...surprisingly haha...then 3 of us went coronation to eat...yeah then zheng liang just wanted to go home...so guai...sigh...hmmm then went to west mall...quite sian...oh art club orientation was rather fun...and i am looking forward to all the exhibitions and festivals in njc which will be organised by our seniors and us the J1s and IPs...hehe..:)